“For there she was” the complex nature of Peter and Clarissa.

 

The relationship between Peter and Clarissa is one of the most complex and interesting relationships in the Mrs. Dalloway story. Their relationship started as youthful flirtation and continued throughout the story with Clarissa always wondering “What if” she had married him, and Peter consistently falling back on his feelings for Clarissa, despite how much time had passed. Their relationship represents a longing for the freedom of youth with both of them in love with the idea with each other and what they represent.

The idea for this blog post started a few days ago when I was discussing the relationship between Clarissa and Richard vs Clarissa and Peter with some classmates. I was firmly in the camp of Clarissa and Richard being the more healthy, loving couple and I had thought that most people agreed. However, I quickly discovered that was not the consensus as someone argued for Peter being the better choice due to the way he still loved her after all those years apart. This sparked an interesting idea in my mind, did Peter ever truly love Clarissa?

When the story begins Clarissa and Peter both seem mildly unhappy with their lives. Clarissa seems to be struggling with a loss of her identity due to no longer having a clear purpose now that she is married and Elizabeth has grown up. Although she does not explicitly say it, she clearly misses the freedom of youth and on page ten she contemplates no longer feeling like herself, “She had the oddest sense of being herself invisible, unseen; unknown; there being no more marrying, no more having children now, but only this … being Mrs. Dalloway; not even Clarissa any more; this being Mrs. Richard Dalloway.” (Page 10) Clarissa feels sad that she no longer gets to be just Clarissa anymore and it is clear she feels deep nostalgia for the time in her life when she got to be simply herself. In the present, her identity is so tied to Richard but when she was back at Bourton she was just Clarissa. Throughout the novel these themes of childhood and freedom are closely connected to her memories of Bourton, Peter, and Sally. We actually do not get much interaction between Peter and Clarissa in the present of this novel. Aside from when he first comes back and they briefly talk about India, a majority of Peter and Clarissa's interactions in the book happen through memories. I believe Peter represents a sense of childhood freedom for Clarissa and I think that is why all these years later she still frequently thinks about him. 

When we meet Peter in Mrs. Dalloway, it is clear he is also not entirely happy with his life. When he sees Clarissa for the first time again he tells her about how he is in love with a girl he met in India and he wants to marry her. However, through his own inner monologue readers later hear, “for hours and days he never thought of Daisy.” (Page 77) So, even though he claims he is in love with Daisy it is clear that he does not think of her much and instead spends most of the day trying to convince himself that he’s not in love with Clarissa again. Like Clarissa, Peter sees their relationship as closely tied to memories of Bourton and youth. On Page 158 he says, “Here was he, young as ever; envying young people their summer time”. (Page 158) During this section of the book he is walking to Clarissa's party thinking back on memories from when they were young. This quote combined with his inner monologue shows how he misses his days at Bourton and envies the time when he had freedom to do whatever.

At first glance Peter and Clarissa's inner monologues seem like they both love each other and should have gotten married instead of Clarissa and Richard. However, I believe they are actually more enamored with the idea of each other. Both Clarissa and Peter represent memories of childhood, youth, and freedom for the other so when they think back on their relationship they often view it through a lens of nostalgia. BUT, I do not think this means they would actually be good for each other. In fact, in many instances throughout the novel it seems as though Peter and Clarissa tend to tear each other down. On Page 43 Clarissa describes Peter as “always making one feel, too, frivolous; empty-minded; a mere silly chatterbox as he used.” This shows how although Clarissa does frequently wonder about Peter and what could have been if they had gotten married, she does not actually feel good around him. Instead he often acts as the voice in her head criticizing her for the things she enjoys. 

Overall, I think Peter and Clarissa's relationship is one of the most interesting in the novel and I really enjoyed reading and analyzing them.

By Julia

What it Means to be Perceived

If you were to ask me what my big take away from The Mezzanine was, I would say that it can be largely explained as a story about how people perceive others and how people feel about themselves being perceived. Throughout the story, Howie rides up the escalator and ponders different moments of his life in great detail, dissecting what he was thinking in the moment and what others were thinking about him. As the story goes on it is revealed that one of Howie's biggest fears is being perceived, more specifically being perceived as odd or unusual. While he moves through his day, Howie takes great care in overanalyzing every possible interaction with others and making sure it is normal. For example, on page 60 Howie describes seeing Bob Leary descending the escalator right as he himself is going up an escalator to The Mezzanine. 

“His face was so familiar that his ongoing status as a stranger was really an embarrassment … we would have to make eye contact and nod and murmur or stonily stare into space, or pretend to inspect whatever belongings could plausibly need inspection on an escalator ride, wrenching past that second of forced proximity as if the other person did not exist.” -Page 60

In his head Howie goes through the various possible routes he could take to avoid interaction because he wants to avoid awkwardness at all costs. He notes that he feels like he and Bob do not have a close enough relationship to warrant an actual greeting, but also the fact that they aren't closer after knowing each other so long is an embarrassment in itself. Ultimately, Howie completely avoids the encounter by pretending he forgot something and stepping away from the escalator. Howie is so nervous about how Bob Leary will perceive their interaction that he would rather simply delay his ascent. This displays Howie's personality and shows his anxiety towards being perceived poorly in an awkward encounter. However, as I continued to read I began to think about how I related to Howie. How many times have I walked by someone in the hallway and unsure what to do pulled out my phone only to stare at my homescreen until they passed me?

The next day in class, someone else pointed out the passage about Bob Leary as their choice for the notebook prompt. They also related to the awkward interactions with acquaintances in the halls and worrying about what other people thought during those brief passes. What I had first interpreted as just a unique Howie trait actually turns out to be a common sentiment. The more I considered it, the more I realized that as I go throughout my day a majority of my actions are at least slightly influenced by how the people around me perceive me. I want to be perceived as smart and so I take care to only raise my hand when I’m sure I know the answer. I want to be perceived as funny so I try to joke and feel embarrassed when a joke does not land. Although in The Mezzanine Howie takes his fear of being perceived to the next level, worrying about what others will think of him in the bathroom, The Mezzanine ultimately does reflect a very human quality in wanting to control how people see you. 

Overall, although I am not a huge fan of The Mezzanine, I do admire how Baker was able to capture many almost uncomfortably relatable moments through the lens of Howie's inner monologue.

Written by Julia