If you were to ask me what my big take away from The Mezzanine was, I would say that it can be largely explained as a story about how people perceive others and how people feel about themselves being perceived. Throughout the story, Howie rides up the escalator and ponders different moments of his life in great detail, dissecting what he was thinking in the moment and what others were thinking about him. As the story goes on it is revealed that one of Howie's biggest fears is being perceived, more specifically being perceived as odd or unusual. While he moves through his day, Howie takes great care in overanalyzing every possible interaction with others and making sure it is normal. For example, on page 60 Howie describes seeing Bob Leary descending the escalator right as he himself is going up an escalator to The Mezzanine.
“His face was so familiar that his ongoing status as a stranger was really an embarrassment … we would have to make eye contact and nod and murmur or stonily stare into space, or pretend to inspect whatever belongings could plausibly need inspection on an escalator ride, wrenching past that second of forced proximity as if the other person did not exist.” -Page 60
In his head Howie goes through the various possible routes he could take to avoid interaction because he wants to avoid awkwardness at all costs. He notes that he feels like he and Bob do not have a close enough relationship to warrant an actual greeting, but also the fact that they aren't closer after knowing each other so long is an embarrassment in itself. Ultimately, Howie completely avoids the encounter by pretending he forgot something and stepping away from the escalator. Howie is so nervous about how Bob Leary will perceive their interaction that he would rather simply delay his ascent. This displays Howie's personality and shows his anxiety towards being perceived poorly in an awkward encounter. However, as I continued to read I began to think about how I related to Howie. How many times have I walked by someone in the hallway and unsure what to do pulled out my phone only to stare at my homescreen until they passed me?
The next day in class, someone else pointed out the passage about Bob Leary as their choice for the notebook prompt. They also related to the awkward interactions with acquaintances in the halls and worrying about what other people thought during those brief passes. What I had first interpreted as just a unique Howie trait actually turns out to be a common sentiment. The more I considered it, the more I realized that as I go throughout my day a majority of my actions are at least slightly influenced by how the people around me perceive me. I want to be perceived as smart and so I take care to only raise my hand when I’m sure I know the answer. I want to be perceived as funny so I try to joke and feel embarrassed when a joke does not land. Although in The Mezzanine Howie takes his fear of being perceived to the next level, worrying about what others will think of him in the bathroom, The Mezzanine ultimately does reflect a very human quality in wanting to control how people see you.
Overall, although I am not a huge fan of The Mezzanine, I do admire how Baker was able to capture many almost uncomfortably relatable moments through the lens of Howie's inner monologue.
Written by Julia
